Ndeni

I am numb. I do not know what or how to feel. I am sad, and shocked, and hurting all at the same time. I have just received a phone call informing me that a friend of mine, Ndeni Msomi has passed away. She died at 12h45 today. (29 July 2010)

Ndeni and I met about two/three years ago. She was dating my boyfriend at the time’s friend. We hit it off immediately and stayed in contact since that day we met at ABSA Stadium, during a rugby match.

We hooked up for a few drinks after that, and met occasionally at De La Sol, one of her favourite hang out places.

Ndeni informed me that she had cancer about a year ago. She underwent chemo, and she seemed to be doing very well. Her hair started to grow back, and she was looking stronger everyday. The phone call that I have just received really shattered me. Life is just too short, and it’s so sad that it takes such a tragedy to make one realise that.

I was in Durban in May, I was suppose to hook up with Ndeni and go clubbing. But I was only there for a weekend, and I didn’t get a chance to meet up with her. Now I wish I had made a plan to see her, even if it was just for 10 minutes.

Ndeni my friend, you will be greatly missed. Your smile, your jokes, your inspirational status updates. Every time you went for chemo, you would wear that S on your chest.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, and love leaves memories no one can steal. I will always remember you my friend, and you will be sorely missed by all that had the privilege to have crossed paths with you. Much love.

afterwards…..

so my shots are done and I didn’t feel a thing. Okay, I did kind of feel something. Not a sore sensation though, just a weird tingly feeling, as the needle pierced my skin.

I sat and waited for it to pain. My eyes were closed and my fists clinched. Next thing the sister told me ‘there you go, it wasn’t that bad was it?’ And I was like ‘huh, it’s all over already?’….. what an anti climax bra…..

i had expected to get two shots, one for Yellow Fever, the other for Cholera, but, when I got there she informed me that the Cholera ‘shot’ was actually medication that was taken orally.

She then mixed me something which I had to drink. It tasted a bit like Eno, with all those fizzy bubbles as well. She also gave me some malaria tablets and told me not to drink any of their milk, or eat any of their cheese; she also advised not to eat any of their salads and to only drink bottled water while I am that side. The food as well, must be well cooked, so there goes my ‘rare’ steak option 

In case you are wondering where it is I am off to, I am going to the Democratic Republic of Congo. I am going there on a work thing, attending the SADC Lawyer’s Association’s AGM in August.

Some have told me to be careful and to be sure to make it back in one piece. LOL. I have mixed feelings about it. I am scared as well as excited at the same time.

I tried to Google ‘DRC’ and the first link or article that came up is ‘Conflict in the Congo’ true story guys, you can go try it as well.

Yellow fever and cholera….

So here I am waiting for those two shots to be over with already.
My heart is pounding, it feels like it’s sitting in my throat, and my nerves are working overtime.

All this brings back memories of when I was about 5 years old, the very last day anyone’s ever tried to give me a shot.

I remember running around the car while my dad tried to catch me. Dr Canter then came to assist him and they both closed in on me and finally caught me. They took me to the Doctor’s room, and called in a third person, a nurse, to come help hold me down.

I also remember my dad telling me that if I do not keep still the needle is going to go the wrong way, hit the wrong nerve and cripple me for life. Kodwa did he really think that that would help calm me down? Cos that only made things worse. After that line, I really did not want that needle anywhere near my ass.

Anyways the shot was finally given, after another nurse was called in. My dad held my legs down, while each of the nurses held an arm each, while Dr Canter did his thing. And yes it was freaking sore. Even more sore than I had imagined it would be.

I didn’t speak to my dad for like a week after that.

So yes, sitting here, waiting for 12 o’clock to strike brings back all those horrid memories.

The people I have told about my vaccinations today have all told me that I will be okay, and that it’s not at all that sore blah blah blah.

Some have even asked me how I got my tattoo done if I’m soooo afraid of needles.

Well, it’s not the same thing people. It’s different okay….

anyways, wish me luck… one and a half hours to go now  

once upon a time.....

last night i was tidying up my cupboard and came across a love letter from my very first love. i had such a laugh as i sat on the bed reading it. he spoke about how i was the only one in his heart -ok, i do admit that i was....

then he spoke about how he'll always only love me, and how i was the only one for him - EVER. and how nobody will ever take my place. LOL. well. surprise surprise, my 'first love' is now married and has a beautiful son.

i sat on my bed wondering why we lie to each other like this? does this thing called LOVE make us lie?

dont take me the wrong way, i am totally for love. i love the warm fuzzy feeling you get, the flowers, the all day smses, FB inboxes and pokes, the emails, and the hour long calls to say goodnight.....

But no matter how inlove you are, if it wasn't meant to be, reality will eventually strike - at some point, and then it will all be over....just as quickly as it started.

and guess what, you will LIVE to tell the tale.